Help When It's Needed

For some, it may feel easier to give than to receive. It can be humbling to accept when you need help from other people - whether it’s advice, finances, help moving into a new place, or simply needing someone to talk with. It can feel easier to help others because we may secretly like the feeling of having someone indebted to us. However, we may often avoid seeking help to rid ourselves of feeling helpless, weak, or indebted ourselves.

Relationships are based on give and take. Every relationship displays this in some form or another. Emotionally, relationships can’t grow unless both people involved are sharing and exchanging. The more involved both parties are in the give and take process, the further the relationship is allowed to deepen.

Rejecting help, compliments, or a gift is a sign of insecurity. It either shows that we feel we're undeserving of help or that we don’t want to look like we need the help. Accepting help is a healthy part of life, as long as we don’t abuse help by expecting everybody to do everything for you. Also, the person giving help shouldn’t expect to be repaid for the help they provide – gratitude will suffice.

If you help others with the intention of getting some reward out of it, then your heart is in the wrong place. Don’t loan money to people unless you’re fine with the possibility of that person not paying you back. Don’t offer to help someone and use that to guilt them into doing future favors for you. As they say – “whatever comes around; goes around.” Whether you are repaid back by that person or through an expected event, your good deeds will not go unnoticed or be in vain.

Receive help, give gratitude, and be willing to help others. Without participating in this cycle, we stifle the potential to build friendships and to develop trust with others. Refusing to give and take may appear to be a “safer” way to live, but it is an unfulfilling lifestyle. The experiences of living a full life is found in opportunities such as taking risks, getting involved with other people, and to make yourself vulnerable at times.

Just because you need help doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you are human, just like everyone else. Additionally, getting an opinion on your art from someone you trust could be a very useful way to develop yourself through a fresh perspective. It’s undoubtedly more useful when we spent the time to work together and build each other up – not isolate ourselves to relieve ourselves of any obligation to do anything for anybody.

For related reading, please read Happy With Imperfections.